7 Music Trends That Need To Stop

Some trends are fabulous and some…well, not so much. Of the cringe-worthy trends, there are some that die a natural death and if we’re lucky, we soon forget their existence. And then there are those stubborn trends that absolutely refuse to disappear. Music has them too and these are some that should go into immediate retirement, starting yesterday!

7. Acoustic/ Unplugged Versions
Again, like the tribute albums, this is another way to make money out of old fame and it doesn’t always work. Sometimes the artists sing acoustic versions of their own songs and sometimes other artists sing it (as a tribute of course!). But if it doesn’t make the song sound any better, why keep doing it…because it’s getting a little tired. But hey, if you’re gonna do it for a laugh like Alanis Morisette’s ‘My Humps’, I’m all for it!

Guilty: The few million acoustic versions of Rihanna’s ‘Umbrella’

6. Child Stars
Isn’t there some sort of law about “child labor”? Or is it not applicable when a five year old becomes a rapper? Maybe Wacko Jacko was cute (and talented) as a child star but come on, I’d rather not see five year old Bentley Green trying to be a bad-ass rapper when he should be out playing in the playground or somethin’.

Guilty: Bentley Green, Kriss Kross (remember the backwards pants?), Miley Cyrus, Lil Bow Wow

5. Tribute Albums
You know it used to be cool when a bunch of singers came together to sing cover versions of songs by a really famous singer like say Bob Dylan, Ella Fitzgerald or even Mariah Carey. But now it’s just overdone with some artists laying claim to more tribute albums than their own albums. They’re great, I get it. Now let’s move on and make some of our own music shall we? And also, people, not everyone deserves a tribute. Some people weren’t that great to begin with. It’s just becoming an excuse for some record company to make (quite) a few big bucks

Guilty: Bands like Metallica, Guns N’ Roses, Iron Maiden etc have dozens of tribute albums dedicated to them but then again, so do The Beatles, ABBA, Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin, B.B. King etc etc etc.

4. Ridiculous Artist Names
Seriously is it that hard to come up with a band name or rapper name that isn’t just stupidly ridiculous? If you haven’t got a brain, at least ask for help; don’t just assume we think your name is clever and cool even though it’s actually pretty foolish. A little imagination never hurt anyone.

Guilty: Shorty Shit Stain, Enuff Z’nuff, Chumbawumba, Chamillionaire, Dreddy Kruger; and again…the list goes on and on and on.

3. “Super” Producers
So you get real famous doing the stuff you do and then all of a sudden everyone’s asking you how to do it and to make them the same sort of track. And bam! You’re a super producer now! But when you keep producing the same old stuff over and over (irrespective of whether they’re hits or not), I think it’s time you check into super producer rehab and if that doesn’t help, RETIRE! Do songs really need to be so well-branded that you can tell the producer before you can tell who’s singing it?

Guilty: Swizz Beats, Timbaland, Dr. Dre, Lil Jon … all struggling to come up with something new that doesn’t sound like the last 100 songs they produced.

2. Auto Tune
For those of you not in the know, pop singers often use the Auto Tune audio software which “auto”matically corrects their pitch. It’s called a “vocoder” or even the “Cher robot effect”! The damn plug in is so annoying that it has convinced some people they can actually sing!

Guilty: Akon, Chris Brown, Kanye West, T-Pain, Lil’ Wayne and so many more I’d run out of room here

1. Songs with Lame Dances
Where do I begin? They’ve been around forever and when you play them at a party everyone’s suddenly a dancer and they’re all doing their ridiculous hand and leg movements. They know all the steps and that’s probably the coolest thing they’ve ever done. But come on, it stopped being cute after the first 100 times.

Guilty: Macarena, The Twist, Lambada, Locomotion and the latest, Souljah Boy

BONUS: Songs for Ring Tones
I just had to put this one in! I really don’t want to hear “Crank Dat” every time someone gets a text message or sing along to “Disturbia” because you let your phone ring long enough. Okay so they sound better than the beeps but for God’s sake can you not choose a song that at least sounds good even after your phone rings for the thousandth time.

Guilty: EVERYONE who uses really loud, non-ringtone worthy songs and Crazy Frog!

I’m sure there are more but I’m running out of room here so I think I should stop! Feel free to add to the list.

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