Black Dating Tips | 10 Questions to Ask a Potential Partner

So I was chilling with my girlfriends and one of the girls just broke up with her man because after three years he wasn’t ready to…yes, you got it, COMMIT. He also told her she was trippin’ because she was going to college and all that. And it depressed us all a little that even after being with someone for a while you don’t know them.

Like my girl said, we forget to ask some important questions at the beginning of a relationship. Down the track when we do get the answers, we end up heartbroken because they’re not the answers we expected. So we came up with a list of questions you could ask a potential partner (guy or girl) to see if they’re worth your time.

So in no particular order, here we go:

1. How “long” was your longest relationship? Why did it end?
   If you’re looking for a serious relationship, this should give you some answers. Look out for the “Me-so-dope-I-don’t-know-why-it-didn’t-work-out” type; you won’t need too work to hard to figure out why the relationship didn’t work out.
   
2. What do you want from a relationship?
   Love, marriage, sex, money, stability, security etc etc? Do they match your answers?
   
3. What’s your biggest fear about a relationship?
   They’re afraid to commit and you’re scared you’ll fall in love with someone who doesn’t want a “serious” relationship? Not quite the perfect match!
   
4. What makes you laugh?
   If all they laugh at are sexual innuendos and you think they’re disrespectful, aren’t you glad you asked this question? Also, someone who doesn’t laugh much will take life too seriously.
   
5. How close are you to your family?
   Again, the right answer would be one that matches yours. If you both love your folks, and y’all are close to them, then you’re right for each other I guess. But if you’ve both had bad family lives, then you’re perfect too!
   
6. How important is education for you?
   The right answer would depend on how important is for you. People can have different intellectual levels depending on how educated they are.
   
7. Have you ever been arrested?
   If yes, why? Then ask yourself, are you down with dating someone who’s been arrested/ incarcerated?
   
8. Are you addicted to anything?
   Drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, work, sex/porn, video games, internet etc? This usually doesn’t get answered directly because addicts don’t like admitting they’re addicts but maybe their response will give you hints.
   
9. What would be on your ‘Bucket List’?
   As long as the list has interesting stuff, you’ll know the person has dreams. If they don’t aspire to much, they’re probably willing to settle for a pretty ordinary life as well. Is that what you want?
   
10. Did you vote for George Bush?
    Seriously! Unless you voted for him too, I don’t dig how you could date someone who obviously has their head screwed on wrong.

Here are some more that might help. It’s up to y’all to judge what the perfect response would be because each of us will want different things

• What would the one thing you would change about your life?

• What do you do for fun?

• Does your family have a history of mental illness? (I’m not sure what sort of response you’d get for this one!)

• What’s your most valuable possession?

• How would you like to spend your perfect holiday?

• Do you believe in God?

• Are you dominant or submissive in a relationship?

• What are the three things you hope to achieve within the next five years?

• How important are your friends?

• What do you expect from the opposite sex in a relationship?

Okay, I’ve dropped enough science for a day so I’m outta here but let me know if this helps y’all. What do you ask a potential partner to see if they’re right for you? Or have you had someone ask you a really bad/stupid question?

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